The Unexpected Journey: Healing

Episode 2: Going Forward

There is light in the darkness (by Dee Crute)

Forward indeed! Even with video quality!

Well, debatable, but at least it was far more structured and 3 times shorter than episode 1!

Definitely an improvement!

Speaking of growth - I can also spy an increase in my mug-shots on my Instagram page - most of them frozen in a most glamorous pose!

I need to learn how to change the thumbnails for my live videos!

But there are more important things at the moment.

It is HEALING

Today was tough - probably the most harrowing day since day 1. Lack of good sleep and a tea-based diet did not help either.

But that was expected.

Before my autism coaching, I was immensely struggling with my emotions. At some point, I want to explore coaching with you folks, as I firmly believe this is the best way to support neurodiversity.

But I digress; emotions and feelings are so much more than things in your head. You can feel it in every part of your body. They can cause you physical pain worse than anything I can think of. On top of this, anxiety and extreme restlessness drive you mad.

This is emotional dysregulation for you - a freebie you will get with Premium ADHD and/or Autism package.

I found that understanding of "what and why" is happening in your head is so important for your wellbeing, resilience and ability to cope.

Coaching also taught me to plan for my emotions.

My neurodiverse brain hasn't got all those executive functions my neuro-typical fellows have. We can explore this subject in more detail at some point too. But in a nutshell, a neurodiverse brain setup may lead to reactive behaviours. In short, being a drama queen!

Jokes aside, this can be truly a harrowing experience.

Executive functions can be affected by chronic illness too - this includes mental health.

I learnt some strategies that help with anticipated triggers.

It's not possible to plan for your whole life, but understanding what triggers you on a daily basis will help you minimise stress. This also works for life-changing events. If you are in a difficult situation, create an emergency plan, almost like a script.

Services like ambulance or fire & rescue use this method for various incidents - from vehicle crashes to flooding. It saves time and brain power to plan when things happen, but with a plan ready - you can put all your energy into coping.

Planning for triggers and meltdowns ideas:

1) 'Go-bag' with some cash, snack, water, a book and spare keys to grab and go for a nature walk, bookshop or library if you need to clear your head.

2) Hygge Box - a basket or a dedicated corner with a comfy blanket, chocolates, book, or whatever makes you cosy.

3) Crying kit - your favourite mug, a box of tissues, and something personal that makes you feel warm inside.

Don't fight your emotions. It does not work - it only makes things worse.

Accept and understand them, deal with them and be kind to yourself.

Once you are calmer, you can start re-framing the situation.

Today was tough, but going to The Mens Nature Reserve brought me the usual solace.

Don't take me wrong - nothing will take away your pain - but nature heals and this takes time.

In the meantime, I focused on blessings that happened today - my beloved friend sorted the vehicle issue for me, so I can drive it until I am able to purchase a car of my own or, actually, not a car but a van... ahhh, the van... I will share this idea with you soon!

You guys have been, again, super supportive, and your following my journey makes me feel that I am not alone.

And lastly, I attended my first pain clinic appointment and am very hopeful about it! Chronic pain and neurodiversity is also a subject I wanted to discuss with you guys sometime in the future.

Speaking of the future.

The Mens, Sussex Wildlife Trust (by Dee Crute)

To move forward and rebuild my life, I need to heal by addressing my trauma, getting help and possibly medication for ADHD and getting a complete diagnosis and treatment for neurological symptoms.

The most important is general wellbeing.

It is impossible to fully recover from anything without making life changes. The pain clinician told me we won't start the full program for Fibromyalgia and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome until I first complete trauma therapy.

Now, to address your trauma, you need to be in a good place too. Sounds like a catch-22? Somewhat yes, that's why life changes are needed.

Again, it is crucial to identify your triggers, areas you struggle with, and situations that may harm you. You need to be honest with yourself.

I found society and most work environments rigid and set for neurotypical people without disabilities. Apart from bullying and being taken advantage of, I found that the stress of social anxiety is untenable.

I really like what Connor DeWolfe said about living with ADHD:

"it feels like everyone else was given a script in this play except you, and they get mad when you are trying to improvise".

No surprise here that most people with neurodiversity have strained mental and physical health and often suffer from Fibromylagia - a condition that results from trauma.

PENNY DROPPED!

I need to stop masking, accept my vulnerabilities, and ask for help and support rather than pretending I am fine out of fear of being judged: "professional adult woman, but she cannot take care of herself".

Well, I can - so as you, just in a different way.

I think we all do that. Whether we live with neurodiversity or struggle with mental or physical health, we pretend all is fine to avoid judgement.

But when we speak out, we find that others suffer and struggle too!

This is the way - being open and kind to yourself and others.

And learn self-advocating - asking for help is one of the most challenging things.

But most importantly, I need to evaluate my life - is my current lifestyle and choices work for me? For my neurodiversity and disabilities?

No - they do not.

I will tell you more about this in the next episode!

Cheerio!

PS

Let us know what helps you in dealing with emotions! Better still - let us know what your triggers are!